I’ve been using free time during this period of privileged unemployment to rediscover who I am, spanning from my own gender identity to what I want to create as an individual. For the past week, I drew inspiration from my favorite video game Overwatch and sketched fanarts of it everyday. Through this process, I found immense joy in learning new techniques as find my own voice to bring these favorite characters to life.

All is hopeful and joyous until I hit a block: a block not creative in nature, but this monumental doubt of what I’m supporting in this process. It was just revealed in a lawsuit from The California Department of Fair Employment and Housing that Activision Blizzard, the game’s publisher, has been chronically discriminating against women (many content warnings ahead), denying fair compensation, ignoring rampant sexual harassment, openly passing around nude photos of female employees, and eventually resulting in one of them taking their own life on a company trip. This is especially infuriating as the company brands both itself and its games as inclusive.

There is a sense of betrayal in the community, and I don’t really know how to react on an individual level. This game brought together many wonderful communities that spans across races, gender expressions, and sexualities. It has the most vibrant LGBTQIA+ scene of any game I’ve seen, both in its playerbase but also the fan contents produced. While it’s tempting to attribute this vibrancy to the diverse cast of characters, including canonically gay characters; it is ultimately the fanbase, their headcannons, art pieces, and entire short stories that really bring the fictional universe to life. Many joke that Blizzard should just hire the fan creators since they’ve been doing a better job at enriching the lore than official writers. In retrospect, it was better that these fan creators were out of reach of this predatory cesspit of misogyny.

Reminds me of shows where the elusive but supportive character was actually the main antagonist (in this case, Activision Blizzard). Unlike shows, which end triumphantly with the defeat of these sinister plots, it seems like our choices are limited in the real world. After all, most conveniences in life don’t come without exploitation: the rare metals in electronic devices mined from environmentally-destructive and hazardous mines whose labors may never afford the same gadgets, deliveries made by warehouse workers denied medical leaves and even bathroom breaks (resorting to pee in bottles), and food from overhoused mills with torturous conditions for both the workers and livestocks. All the while as billionaires race to take vanity space trips to escape from this very hell they’ve created.

In face of the harsh reality, we take refuge in fantasies constructed by the same oppressors. With that also being taken away, is despair the only remaining option? :c

Thank you for reading.